


Fieldwork

by Hideous_Sun_Demon



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: 5x10 spoilers, Alex loves his family so much and she knows, Angst, Bobbie being her strong self, Gen, It’s honestly just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:27:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29839440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hideous_Sun_Demon/pseuds/Hideous_Sun_Demon
Summary: Former MMC Gunnery Sergeant Roberta Draper makes a decision.
Relationships: Alex Kamal & Naomi Nagata, Bobbie Draper & Alex Kamal
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Fieldwork

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I get to thinking “how could I make that episode WORSE?”

Bobbie has been trained to make choices. It sounds inane, but that’s basically what every military mission is: a series of calculations, made before realised, a decision under the knife’s edge. Even before she made it back to the Razorback, her mind had been running figures.

“ _Does Holden know we’ve got her? What is the Roci’s ETA? Alex, do you copy? Alex, reply. Do you read me? Alex!”_

The Razorback is, as Alex had put it, a yacht. It’s a joyride, a frivolity, and it sure as hell isn’t a Martian warship. The auto-doc was installed as an afterthought. And even if it wasn’t, there’d still only be room enough for the one.

Bobbie stares at the auto-doc. She stares at Alex. Naomi is weightless in her arms, boots scraping against the shuttle floor, and Alex is so silent. How many times has she wanted to tell him to shut up? How many times has she actually done it? His mouth is hanging open now, just barely, his pupils blown and uneven and his sclera blooming red. Bobbie’s bitten high-G enough times. She knows the signs. 

She knows what dead looks like. She also knows what salvageable looks like. Alex is barely hanging on — but he’s breathing, chest fluttering like a weak heartbeat. Naomi’s chin is drooping closer and closer to her chest. Yeah, Bobbie knows a call to make when she sees one.

“Alex,” Naomi breathes as Bobbie gingerly sets her down, straps her in. “Alex…” Bobbie isn’t going to lie, she’s kind of surprised. She’s heard the whole bloody saga of Naomi and Holden’s epic love story from Alex enough times; if she was asked to put money on whose name Naomi would be calling out with what could be her final breaths, Bobbie wouldn’t have said Alex’s. It’s sweet though. Something that would’ve been nice for Alex to have heard, if he’d had enough brainpower left for that. Bobbie wonders how long Naomi has been sitting in that shuttle. Waiting for Alex to speed into the trap. Waiting to die.

She looks back at Alex. He hadn’t come here to die. Hell, the only reason he was out here at all was —

No. Bobbie’s taken plenty of responsibility in her life time, that’s a well honed instinct for her, but she’s not going to do Alex the disservice of pretending he’s out here for any other reason than for love. Nobody had pressed a gun to his head; not her, and definitely not James Holden. Alex had catapulted out here himself, for his family. To make sure Naomi made it back okay.

His eyelids are drooping now, but they’re still open, and he’s got the disconcerting gaze of the not-quite-dead that makes it seem like he’s looking right at her, talking to her. Bobbie isn’t going to make this easier on herself by pretending that he’s able to tell her what he wants her to do, though. All that gaze is telling her is that she’s running out of time. But she reckons she’s able to flatter herself enough to think that she knows what Alex would say if he could.

Naomi is still calling for Alex. Her ravaged hand is twitching, very nearly reaching. Bobbie shushes her indistinctly as she grabs it; tries to be soothing, tries to be Alex. Tries to be sure. Deep breaths. Soldier’s focus. “I’m sorry, cowboy,” she says as she slides the auto-doc up Naomi’s arm. 

She stands back. Over the beeping of the medical device doing its work, she can just barely hear Alex and Naomi, breathing in unison.

It won’t be long now.

* * *

Bobbie has been trained to make choices.

“I don’t remember—“ Naomi says, voice breaking over cracked lips. She only fully woke up once they got her into the Roci’s med-bay. Small miracles, Bobbie figures. Holden was the one to break the news, but Bobbie figures Naomi is owed an explanation.

Her eyes are wet, breath shaking. “Alex,” she says like a knife wound. “Did he — was he —?”

“He was already gone by the time we got back to the ship. There was nothing we could do,” Bobbie says, and she grips Naomi’s hand tight.

**Author's Note:**

> RIP space cowboy, you will be missed


End file.
